Knock-Knock
Who's There
Holly
Holly who?
Holly-Days...Happy Holly Days
Knock-Knock
Who's There
Oakum
Oakum who?
Oakum All Ye Faithful...
Knock-Knock
Who's There
Donut
Donut who?
Donut open until Christmas
Knock-Knock
Who's There?
Who-Who
Who-Who Who?
It's Santa Owl!
Knock-Knock
Who's There
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who?
Wenceslas train to Clarksville?
Knock-Knock
Who's There
Wayne
Wayne who?
Wayne in a Manger...
Knock-Knock
Who's There
Mary
Mary who?
Mary-Christmas!
Knock-Knock
Who's There
Rudolph
Rudolph who?
Money is the Rudolph of all evil.
Knock-Knock
Who's There
Avery
Avery who
Avery Merry-Christmas to you.
Knock-Knock
Who's There
Igloo
Igloo who?
Igloo Santa, like I knew Santa...
Monday, December 10, 2007
Christmas Santa jokes
Where does Santa hide his gift to Mrs. Claus.
The Clauset of course!
Why does Santa have three gardens?
He likes to "Hoe, hoe, hoe!".
What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
Crisp Kringle.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claus-Trophobic.
Why does Santa go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him !
Who delivers Christmas presents at the Haunted Opera House?
Phantom Claus !
How many chimneys does Santa go down ?
Stacks and stacks!
Why does Santa use reindeer to pull his sleigh and not pigs?
Because when Pigs fly everything that wasn't supposed to happen...does.
When Santa is on the beach what do the elfs call him?
Sandy Claus
What do you call Santa's-father's-sister?
Auntie Claus
What do you call Santa's annual barn dance?
A Ho, Ho, Ho Down!
What does Santa write on his Christmas cards ?
ABCDEFGHIJK_ MNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (No-L , No-L) !
What did Mary Poppins ask from Santa for Christmas? SuperClausiFragilisticExpialliSnowshoes...
The Clauset of course!
Why does Santa have three gardens?
He likes to "Hoe, hoe, hoe!".
What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
Crisp Kringle.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claus-Trophobic.
Why does Santa go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him !
Who delivers Christmas presents at the Haunted Opera House?
Phantom Claus !
How many chimneys does Santa go down ?
Stacks and stacks!
Why does Santa use reindeer to pull his sleigh and not pigs?
Because when Pigs fly everything that wasn't supposed to happen...does.
When Santa is on the beach what do the elfs call him?
Sandy Claus
What do you call Santa's-father's-sister?
Auntie Claus
What do you call Santa's annual barn dance?
A Ho, Ho, Ho Down!
What does Santa write on his Christmas cards ?
ABCDEFGHIJK_ MNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (No-L , No-L) !
What did Mary Poppins ask from Santa for Christmas? SuperClausiFragilisticExpialliSnowshoes...
Few line Christmas jokes
Christmas: When you exchange hellos with strangers and good buys with friends.
Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don't know if they're celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.
Do you know what it is like to put up fifteen hundred Christmas lights on the roof of a house? The kids are giving two to one I'm gonna come down the chimney before Santa Claus does.
Every Christmas pageant throughout the world has a scene showing Joseph leading Mary into Bethlehem on a donkey. Do you realize what would happen if the Republicans asked for equal time?
Sometimes I get the feelin that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.
Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don't know if they're celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.
Do you know what it is like to put up fifteen hundred Christmas lights on the roof of a house? The kids are giving two to one I'm gonna come down the chimney before Santa Claus does.
Every Christmas pageant throughout the world has a scene showing Joseph leading Mary into Bethlehem on a donkey. Do you realize what would happen if the Republicans asked for equal time?
Sometimes I get the feelin that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.
Christmas Q/A
Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.
Question: What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Answer: Sandy Claws.
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
Answer: So he can ho-ho-ho.
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Answer: Snowflakes.
Question: What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Answer: Sandy Claws.
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
Answer: So he can ho-ho-ho.
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Redneck Christmas
You might be a Redneck if... You've ever done your Christmas shopping at a truck stop.
Why Santa wants a raise
10. The hours, the weather and the trend toward smaller chimneys.
9. Nike won't give him a lucrative side-contract.
8. Reindeer and elves have unionized.
7. New tax on flying sleighs.
6. Sleigh fuel has gone through the roof.
5. Needs extra cash to cover off-season gambling losses.
4. New air traffic controllers.
3. Cost of living increase at the North Pole.
2. Children don't leave as many cookies as they used to.
1. Mrs. Clause told him to.
9. Nike won't give him a lucrative side-contract.
8. Reindeer and elves have unionized.
7. New tax on flying sleighs.
6. Sleigh fuel has gone through the roof.
5. Needs extra cash to cover off-season gambling losses.
4. New air traffic controllers.
3. Cost of living increase at the North Pole.
2. Children don't leave as many cookies as they used to.
1. Mrs. Clause told him to.
Top ten short Xmas jokes
Final countdown!
10. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes!
9. Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho-ho-ho!
8. Where do snowmen go to dance? Snowballs!
7. Why was Santa's little helper depressed? He had low ELF esteem!
6. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a shark? Frostbite!
5. Where do you find reindeer? It depends on where you leave them!
4. What do snowmen eat for lunch? Icebergers!
3. What do reindeer have that no other animals have? Baby reindeer!
2. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic!
1. How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? You wake up wet!
10. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes!
9. Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho-ho-ho!
8. Where do snowmen go to dance? Snowballs!
7. Why was Santa's little helper depressed? He had low ELF esteem!
6. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a shark? Frostbite!
5. Where do you find reindeer? It depends on where you leave them!
4. What do snowmen eat for lunch? Icebergers!
3. What do reindeer have that no other animals have? Baby reindeer!
2. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic!
1. How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? You wake up wet!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)